


Annoying Ads Incorporated!

by Kitty_Shinju (Queen_Kit)



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Don’t copy to another site, Gen, Humor
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2008-08-05
Updated: 2008-08-05
Packaged: 2019-11-08 20:24:51
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,112
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17987969
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Queen_Kit/pseuds/Kitty_Shinju
Summary: Harry sees some of the most unusual ads and decided to put up one of his own.Originally Posted to my Fanfiction Net account.  Moving it here to save it when I delete that account.





	Annoying Ads Incorporated!

**Author's Note:**

> DISCLAIMER: None of the Characters from Harry Potter Belong to me.

_**Annoying Ads Incorporated!** _

Harry Potter was walking in Diagon Ally. It was Summer Break and he was finally free of his relatives. He sighed walking down the street basking in the glory of freedom. Suddenly he looked up and saw a girl hanging advertising posters everywhere. When he looked at the nearest one he was shocked.  
The sign was black and had glowing Avada Kedavra green writing along with a small death eater symbol printed in the top corner. Its horrifying glowing letters said

 **Voldemort's Peaceful Death**  
Hire Lord Voldemort Avada Kedavra EXTRAORDINAIRE!  
 _This week only 1 galleon 7 sickles and 2 Knuts (plus tax)!_

Seeing this Harry felt sick to his stomach. What kind of sick freak would advertise for VOLDMORT! Then he continued down the street stopping by an incredulous Remus Lupin. The Werewolf was staring at a sign that looked suspiciously like the one Harry had seen the girl put up before. The only difference was that this one was red with black letters and read.

 **Werewolf's Bite**  
Want to hurt someone who hurt you? Well go to Werewolf's Bite and get bitten today!  
 _(30 off all week)_

In a state of shock Harry continued to follow the girl and her path of Advertisements. As he went along he saw them all each more insane then the last…. He recorded them in his mind for later processing…

 **Vampires R' Hungry  
** Come and get your blood sucked today!

 **Odd Animals R' US**  
We need homes for a three-headed dog, a two headed cat, and three three headed squirrels. Buy one get one free. Please don't let these wonderful animals go to waste.  
This is a word from  _Hagrid_  who bought a three-headed dog from us just a few years ago.  _"Fluffy was a wonder. He guarded the trap door very well. He was the best dog ever. Bless all three of his furry heads."_

_WHAT THE HELL! This place got Hagrid quoted?_

**Incorporated Corpses**  
Incorporated Corpses, we let the dead talk.  
Talk to any dead person! Just call this number 1-800-666-WLTDT.  
 _20 off all talks with the Grim Reaper for twelve days only!_  
Offer end on December 19th, 2004.  
So, please call Incorporated Corpses and let the dead talk!

 _But that's Impossible!  
_ Harry's shock only increased as he went on to see

 **DeadRising Telephone Service**  
Join any other and you'll be dead in three months unless you join us in that time.  
Now when you buy one phone you can get up to 10 free phones with local and long distance service!

 **Wicked Witches Weekly Curse Club**  
Curse all your friends with the most amazing, most annoying, and not to mention most popular curses!  
Today only join for 6 sickles when you call 1-800-456-98923 on your DeadRising telephone.

 **Haunted Homes Inc.**  
Pay 2 galleons extra and receive an extra ghost and Boo service!  
Scare away even the worst hiccups!  
 _Proven to work 99.9 of the time!_

 **Pets That are**  
Buy your friend a 20-foot python for only 1 galleon!  
Rattlesnakes only 6 sickles!  
 _Special sale this week only!_

Then he finally caught up with the girl. She must have heard him because she turned around as he approached.  
"Oh hello! What can I do to help you?"  
Harry simply stared at her.  
"What's the matter? Cat got your tongue?"  
Harry heard footsteps and the next thing he knew Professor Snape was standing beside him. And he began to speak to the girl.  
"I should have known you were the source of all this commotion, Shinju. When did you arrive back from your trip?"  
"Oh! I just got here. I decided to get started on the new business venture right away."  
Then Harry interrupted.  
"What, sir, you, her, this, all… WHAT?"  
"Oh!" Exclaimed the girl, Shinju, if Snape was to be believed, "I was so excited I forgot to introduce myself! My name is Shinju and this is all for my new business…. Now where did I put those cards again?"  
"I believe you should check your right Pocket Shinju." Said Snape  
"Oh yeah! That's where I put them!"  
The girl hurriedly reached into her pocket and pulled out some business cards and handed one to Harry who examined it closely.

It was a deep purple with a lighter purple border and the writing was the same color as the border. It read:

 _ **Shinju M. Genesis  
**_ _President of Annoying Ads Inc._  
(We have the most annoying ads you have ever seen!)

And on the back was:

_Special Offer!  
All adds only 1 galleon! (Cash or charge no personal checks accepted.)_

He stared dazedly at the card while the girl just smiled at him.  
"Well now you know my name and I'll have to guess that you must be Harry judging by the glare that my dear uncle Severus is giving you."  
Harry just nodded while Snape turned and glared at Shinju.  
"And now I have to say judging by the glare he's giving me he doesn't want to be referred to as Dear Uncle Severus in front of you." She continued smiling.  
Severus cracked a smile at this which nearly caused Harry to pass out. He managed to remain conscious and stutter out.  
"B-but w-what are you DOING?"  
"Advertising, just like the card says." Shinju replied smiling.  
Severus looked at her disapprovingly. "We can see that, but why for the Dark Lord?"  
"Because it annoys the hell out of Dumbledore."  
"WHAT KIND OF REASON IS THAT?" Shouts Harry  
Shinju sighs and shakes her head at the two of them. "He engaged my services which are to post ANNOYING ads. It annoys a person, I advertise it. End of story. I just made a killing off of Dray' so that I would take down the ads about how well his hair bleaching product works. It's a living." She finishes smiling.

Harry realizes that this might just be an ok person so he looks up smiling and finally says  
"I have a business proposition for you then."  
"Yes, do tell." Says Shinju smirking  
Harry whispers his idea to her and Snape knows it must be something terribly evil because her eyes shine the way they only do when she is excited about bothering someone.  
Then she pulls out a blank poster from the air and taps it twice with her wand. On the now Scarlet poster there appears written in fine gold script.

 **Harry Potter: Hero Extraordinaire  
** Enemies beware Potter is here.  
 _Contact Harry today and receive The CD "Oh Voldie so Moldy"  
(Sung by none other then Peeves!)  
It contains this hit and so much more!  
What Might this cost you might ask! Only your support to Potter!  
_ __ **GET YOURS TODAY!**

**Author's Note:**

> AN: I hope you enjoy this!


End file.
